Do not speak until you understand. Choose your words carefully. Answer questions when asked.
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Certain elements may have been materially fictionalized, changed, altered, or created to illustrate the point of the article. The exact narration of examples may not be used in 100% context as factual or authoritative. This is not an official testimony, statement, omission, or affidavit regarding any legal proceeding. Article is strictly for educational & entertainment purposes only.
DISTINCTION IN TALK
Not all words are the same. There is a saying. I am sure you are familiar with it. Actions speak louder than words. You know this saying. The saying exists due to poor word selection. Most listen to respond. Many refuse to answer questions. Responses are filled with perspectives. Few responses offer any objectivity. Most conversations are a waste of time. They do not have to be.
Change your words.
Rather, change your perspective on words.
Words are actions. Words require effort. Words require thought. Words are your first opportunity to be known.
How do you wish to be known?
THE FOOL
The fool is a person who controls conversations. The fool sets the topic, the agenda, the details, the questions, and the answers. There is little contribution from others. There is little consensus taken for solutions. There is little time for others.
The fool is not incompetent. The fool is competently foolish. The fool is negligent not ignorant.
The fool often masks himself in talent.
Yes. I used the word, ‘talent’.
Talented fools are the most difficult to judge. They perform. They achieve results.
The catch?
Most are surface level success. Underneath the visage are problems. The problems surface from a fool’s inability to listen, understand and adopt different perspectives.
No one person can see everything. This is impossible. Two eyes look where the mind tells it to. Eyes cannot see behind the head.
This is the fool’s problem.
THE COWARD
The coward remains silent. This is not a saying to mean a coward does not speak. Cowards speak a lot. Cowards often talk in circles. You understand a coward by their context.
A coward’s words typically go in circles. There is little objectivity. Most cowards will speak about feelings instead of facts.
If posed with a fact the coward will find a way to belittle the situation. Personal assaults are common. This is the coward’s way of refusing to acknowledge anything.
Remember, cowards remain silent. You can be silent on one issue by speaking about another issue. This is cowardice.
Cowards do not offer solutions. If a coward is asked a question the response is typically a deflection. For a coward, remaining silent is not refusing to speak. For a coward, remaining silent is refusing to address any statement or question with context.
A coward remains silent through inaction. Inaction is different than no action.
THE WISE MAN
Wisdom is elusive. A wise man is only wise when he does not recognize himself as wise. Humility is the trait of wisdom.
It is the ability to humble oneself which allows listening.
Most think listening to someone is responding with a word. Not true. If you tell a wise man to leave, explain why you do not like them and provide reasoning a wiseman will understand.
The typical response is, “I understand.”
The next response is one of action. The wiseman will leave.
AN EXAMPLE OF FOOLISHNESS
A previous practice. When I first started my independent investment advisor, I adopted the Henry Ford approach.
I believed you could hire the right people to do everything you were ignorant of. I approached four investment advisors who were experienced. I asked for partnership in my practice. Three (3) accepted.
The Henry Ford approach does not work.
The fool is not incompetent. The fool is competently foolish. The fool is negligent not ignorant.
I gave two investment advisors with nearly 20 years’ experience ownership in my partnership. To cover my lack of tax planning I approached a PhD educated IRS Enrolled Agent. I asked him to sign a joint venture with my firm and allow me to invest into his practice. He accepted my money and the role. I invested into the tax practice to gain mentorship, qualified clients, guidance, and mentorship. I asked him to train my then wife and I. I wanted to properly determine suitability, and investment philosophy.
To ensure we would not do anything we were not supposed to I transferred representation. The PhD Tax Agent and my new Series 6,63,66 and 7 partners were responsible. They did 100% of the representation to perspective clients of the firm. They determined who should invest into high-risk alternative transactions. I did not.
I thought I was legally covered. My then attorney informed me my contracts were proper. I assumed the Chief Compliance Officer role. I was told it was largely based on ensuring proper contracts were signed and filings were done properly. I hired a third-party firm to do all my filings.
I personally never filed a ADV before. I paid someone to do it.
Apparently, the Chief Compliance Officer also included supervising people. I did not know this. I failed to supervise people who made improper representation. More importantly, I held more than 51% ownership in the partnership.
As such, I had the percentage to appear as though I made day to day decisions. When money was lost everyone pointed the finger at me.
The Henry Ford approach does not work.
False claims, slander, and SEC false accusations were my reward. This would lead to an indictment based on falsehood, inaccurate information, and incorrect pleadings. The basis was people I never spoke to, emailed, or even had knowledge of prior to transactions.
Most I had never even heard of. I am still waiting for the list of elderly they claim I met. No list has ever surfaced.
My personal loss sent me to bankruptcy. I lost everything over a bad transaction. This included my practice, my marriage and former profession.
My foolishness was trusting others to tell me exactly what my role should be. I did not know the scope of my role as Chief Compliance Officer. I did not know exactly what I was responsible for. I had no business running an independent firm my first year in the field. This allowed them to operate behind my back and conduct transactions I was unaware of.
The fool adopts his own perspective and sight. The fool never sees what occurs behind his back.
AN EXAMPLE OF COWARDICE
My previous marriage. I was not emotionally mature. In fairness to myself, my first marriage was my first adult relationship. I met my wife 3 months before she turned 18. We married at 19. During this time, I required self-work.
Ignorantly, I lacked example. I was younger (23). For most of our relationship if I was hurt emotionally, I would shut down. I would not have conversations about my feelings. I would often withhold affections.
If my wife asked me what was wrong, I would simply tell her nothing. I would not argue. I would not raise my voice. I would not call her names.
A coward remains silent through inaction. Inaction is different than no action.
I did not answer her questions. Instead, I avoided the issue by withholding affection. This led to her feeling unsure of herself. I imagine it affected her self-esteem.
I was a coward in the fact I never addressed the question. If I was hurt, I should have been adult enough to communicate my feelings. This lack of explanation is an example of cowardice. I responded to the question but never answered.
Cowards respond. Cowards do not answer.
AN EXAMPLE OF WISDOM
My most recent engagement. This woman cited all the issues she had with my character. She explained what she disliked. She informed me it was unacceptable. She told me if my character was to remain the same, she had no reason to stay. She told me there was no reason for her to be in a relationship with me.
She broke up with me twice during our relationship. I left once over a misunderstanding. She told me four (4) times she had no reason to stay with me if I did not change. When she moved in and informed me. I needed to decide what I was going to do.
I listened.
She held many issues with me.
A wise man is only wise when he does not recognize himself as wise. Humility is the trait of wisdom.
The way I loved people non-romantically included my former wife and a woman who bore a still born child. This was not acceptable to her (it does not have to be by the way). I love forever. I do not stop loving. This is true even if I was once romantic with someone. I understand this is difficult for most to process. Jealousy, pride and ego prevent people from understanding this feeling.
The relationships I developed outside our relationship women was a sore spot. She did not like me developing sister level relationships with other women. That is fine by the way. This is not about agreeing or disagreeing. She can like or dislike whatever she wants.
She did not like my critical nature. She disliked my desire to hold her accountable to her agreements despite her feelings. If she was upset, sad or having some negative emotion she expected to conduct herself however she wanted (despite her agreements).
I define integrity by the ability to honor your agreements despite the situation. This caused much tension. She could not keep her word if her feelings got the best of her. I saw this as having low integrity. It was a grave disrespect to me. I cannot plan long term with someone who cannot keep their words short term.
I thanked her for telling me this.
I observed over nine months her actions. I communicated I would not change. Her only response was to nod and say I don’t like it, but I’ll stay. Every so often there would be a relapse. After she moved in and had another fall out I told her I would find a solution. This time it was about an immigration issue she failed to communicate to me prior to the start of our relationship. In fairness to her she waited until about 6 months into our relationship to tell me. I had been sitting on what to do about it for about 2 months. Her relapse trigged me to reconsider the position for a solution.
13 days after I informed her I would find a solution...I found a solution. I broke up with her. I called off the engagement. She moved out my house. I did not talk. I listened. I acted based on what she said. She informed me I blind-sided her for not speaking about my intentions. We spoke so much about it I did not see the surprise.
“If you do not change the way you are, there is no reason for me to be here.”
I listened. I broke it off. She forgot her words.
Wise men listen. Wise men respond with actions not more words.
I HOPE THIS CLARIFIES
There is much context in a wise saying. I have been a fool. I have been a coward. Now I am a wise man through admission of my failures. I have humility to admit it.
Failures can become triumphs or losses. The choice is yours.
No champion stands before you without losses. No wise man stands before you without once being a fool. No brave man stands before you without once being a coward.
To Your Knowledge Success!
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Sources:
1) The life of Christopher Knight Lopez a Professional Hustler turned International Best Seller and Published Author of “I Made It Then I Didn’t”.
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Not a form of investment advice. Please consult a professional registered to give you advice about your individual circumstance. This article is for educational purposes and entertainment purposes only. Please do not email the author about advice on investing or strategies on making investments.
About Christopher: Christopher Knight Lopez is a Professional Hustler turned International Best Seller and Published Author of “I Made It Then I Didn’t”. Christopher has opened over 7 businesses in his 15-year career. Christopher’s purpose is to take advantage of various market-driven opportunities. Christopher is a certified Master Project Manager (MPM), and Accredited Financial Analyst (AFA). Christopher previously held his Series 65 securities license examination and was a Master Financial Planner (MFP). Christopher also held his General Lines — Life, Accident, Health & HMO. Christopher has managed a combined 286mm USD in reported Assets Under Management & Assets Under Advisement. Christopher has work experience in 33 countries, raised over 50mm USD for various businesses, and grossed over 13.0mm in his personal career. Christopher worked in the highly technical industries of: biotechnology, finance, securities, manufacturing, real estate, and residential mortgages. Christopher is a United States Air Force Veteran. Christopher has a passion for family, competitive sports, fishing, martial arts and advocacy for entrepreneurs. Christopher provides self-help classes for up-and-coming entrepreneurs. Christopher’s passion to mentor comes from belief that entrepreneurs need guidance. The world is full of conflicting information about entrepreneur identity. See more atwww.christopherklopez.com.