People are often hurt, full of excitement and madly in love. In all instances the feelings are real but the conclusion might be wrong.

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PERCEPTION VERSUS OBSERVATION
Our eyes see what they view. Our ears hear words spoken. Our bodies feel emotions. Every one of these aspects are real. There is no falsehood in how a person feels. There is very little to substantiate feelings don’t matter. They do. This is not a discussion on the topic of logic versus heart.
This topic is how your understanding of your feelings could mislead you.
In psychology and the cognitive sciences, Perception is — the process of getting, interpreting, selecting, and organizing sensory information. (2)
This means our feelings are the process of organizing sensory information. This does not mean what we see, hear, and feel are understood properly.
It is a well-established fact the skills required to assess perception accurately involves a strong understanding — especially since the complex structure of the nervous system requires a profound knowledge of neuroanatomy. Obtaining a case history can be complicated on why people feel what they do (3).
This is not a discussion on the topic of logic versus heart.
Many people do not know why they feel what they feel. In a related article, I discussed how many men tend to have something called Alexithymia (4). What this means is some men have such low emotional intelligence they are unaware of why they feel their personal emotions.
Women are no exception. There are women who also have Alexithymia. It is possible for anyone to lack understanding of their own feelings. Remember Egalitarianism?
WHAT IS AN OBSERVATION
Many people use the word “observe” as if it has to do with “seeing”. An observation is not solely an image you capture with your eyes that makes you feel some kind of way.
To understand the mind, we use multiple tools. One of the most trusted tools is science. Science seeks to prove things true. Science has no mission to propagate falsehood.
This topic is how your understanding of your feelings could mislead you.
Observations yield what scientists call data (4). Observations are made in a standardized way. By standardizing observations scientist can rely upon the data yielded. They do not feel it one way or another. The term data generally refers to raw data — information that has not yet been analyzed (5).
They key fact I want you to take away is an observation collects some measurable information. Information is only a fact in so much as you have observed it. Observations alone do not analyze anything. The conclusion of the information’s purpose is not fact — it is simply a conclusion.
For instance, by using your eyes to read something, and noting how you feel — you still don’t understand why you feel what you do. All you know is you have a feeling in response to reading something. The why remains unknown.
Simply reading something which was written does not mean it is about you, directed at you or properly framed. The intention remains unknown. This is especially true if the person writing it did not send it to you.
ANALYSIS RESULTS IN UNDERSTANDING
In order to properly know why you feel what you do it is important to analyze your situation. Many skip analysis because it requires effort outside perception. In essence, you are asking your mind to explain to you why you just felt what you felt.
The conclusion is unknown.
Analysis critically examines the data on observations collected (6).
Many people do not know why they feel what they feel.
I often tell people I am “critical” without “judgment”. Critical means I take time to account for all variables which include: relationship with the perceiver (the one witnessing the event), outside influences, internal influences, external circumstances, internal circumstances, intent, purpose of subject matter, and audience.
People often overlook these important aspects when concluding a conclusion. Many negate a great deal of the aspects discussed above.
For many the only real factors considered are the relationship with the perceiver, how they felt, and what they saw/heard/experienced.
MISLEADING YOURSELF DOWN THE WRONG ROAD
Say I was to ask you to navigate from Florida to California to meet me at 1PM Pacific Standard Time. I only inform you the state with a date and time. I tell you I will be in California without telling you the city, street or street number you are expected to be at…you would probably look at me strange.
This is how it is when you tell someone you made them feel some way and you will now treat them a new way based solely based on what they said / did / wrote.
If your intention is to inform the party so they know and ask more questions — that is fine. You are trying to understand. I am talking about those who conclude instantly the purpose of their perception without analyzing or seeking further discussion to understand.
Many skip analysis because it requires effort outside perception
It is a very introverted approach to make a conclusion based only how you feel about what you heard for instance; without gathering critical information first.
It is important to understand (for your own benefit) your relationship with the person (the one you are talking to), outside/external influences making the person say or do what they did, the external/internal circumstances which could result in them doing or saying what they did, the intent they had with the action, the purpose of subject matter, and who was their audience when they communicated.
Granted, this is a lot of effort. Do you know what is more effort?
Spending all your energy feeling and concluding the wrong conclusion — only to later realize you need to repair any damage you caused just to get back to ground zero. This is especially true if you cause some negative consequence in error.
Again, which one sounds like more effort?
CONSTANT TRIGGERS MIGHT BE YOUR OWN ISSUE
If you find yourself constantly triggered by someone’s actions you must analyze what is going on. If the person does not do anything particularly to you (i.e. you are never the audience) but you still find yourself feeling negative stimuli — it’s possible you might have the issues.
I’ll detail three hypotheticals.
One issue you may have is incompatibility. Sometimes people do not do anything wrong to each other. They simply are different people. A person who says health is a priority for them, require an opposite sex perspective for the gym. Your new partner needs their gym partner to get up every day at 5AM to go workout with them. It is not selfish for these needs. They need a partner who works out with them the way they communicated when they first met you. In their life these elements of a relationship are a top priority. If you enter a relationship knowing this, knowing you don’t like working out, your new partner is not crossing your rest boundaries by insisting you go with them. If your partner wakes up every day to build a needed opposite sex relationship outside of your relationship it is a result of your incompatibility. If this situation consistently upsets you it might be you are incompatible. You’re the one who said no to 5am workouts. Time to part ways. No one is disrespecting anyone.
Another issue you might have is past traumas defining a false outcome which will never occur. Say for instance every time a previous ex would abuse you, they would crack open a beer. This always happened when they were under the influence. Now you don’t like any form of alcohol. You explain you don’t like alcohol to your partner but don’t want to come off crazy controlling by telling them they can never drink. Eventually you move in together. Prior to the move in your new partner consistently had a beer 3 to 4 times a week. Your partner has never shown any sign of abuse or aggression. Now you all live together. Slowly you start to get upset at your partner for drinking in your new home. Now it’s every time your partner opens a beer you get upset. You decide you don’t want them to drink in the house anymore. You don’t like alcohol. You constantly fight over the subject. It’s possible you are simply associating past abuse even though it’s not within the range of possibilities of your new partner.
One final issue might be you are dating a creative artist. The artist is involved in music and movie production. As a matter of relating to their audience they might divulge certain personal elements about their previous lives to relate to their audience. Sometimes they might sing in detail about old loves, romantic encounters or intense feelings of a prior lover. This happens when you are new in the relationship. You interpret this as they aren’t over their ex, and you will never be enough. All they seem to do is write, sing or talk about old loves! In this example you are failing to appreciate their audience, the fact their artistic expression requires emotional connection with fans. The subject matter only works when they draw upon real experience to affect their audience. Your relationship is brand new. The person doesn’t have enough history with you. Therefore, there’s just nothing for them to talk about. In this manner, you are making it all about you when it has nothing to do with you or your relationship. It’s their job to be expressive and artistic. This isn’t a non professional facebook post about some person with a signing hobby talking about who they loved when they were young. This is a person who gets paid for this. You are manufacturing false conflict and feelings based on an imaginary reality which is false. If you can’t conquer this feeling it might be time to go separate ways. Asking someone to be someone else is not okay.
FEELINGS ARE COMPLEX
Feelings are not something easily understood. We must be careful not to take out things we don’t understand on innocent bystanders. It requires a lot of maturity to take a step back. Feelings are real. They touch your heart, make your mind race and sometimes get your mouth talking.
It’s impossible to assess the value these situations could have on your love life. After all, every circumstance is different. That is precisely the point though. Be careful to assign a false value to highly worthy relationship behavior.
Don’t devalue an uncut diamond when its sparkle is worth more than your entire jewelry collection if polished. Find high self-worth inside. Your worth exists. Unfortunately, not all my secrets will not be discovered in this free article. You must pick up a copy of my international best-selling book “I Made It Then I Didn’t” or order “Many Paths To Profit” for that.
The concept I teach in this article is free. My personal stories are not. Don’t let pennies get in the way of dollars. There’s no such thing as a free lunch. To find in depth strategies on understanding the motivations of others you must buy a copy of one of my best sellers.
To Your Knowledge Success!
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Sources
1) The life of Christopher Knight Lopez a Professional Hustler turned International Best Seller and Published Author of “I Made It Then I Didn’t” & Co-Author of “Many Paths To Profit” with the original shark from Shark Tank Kevin Harrington.
2) International Journal of Innovative Research in Science, Engineering and Technology. Definition Search ‘Perception’, conducted 24 August 2024. Last Updated 2024. Link: https://www.iomcworld.org/medical-journals/perception-39571.html#:~:text=In%20psychology%20and%20the%20cognitive,by%20the%20brain.%20...
3) PLoS One. “Validation and perception of a key feature problem examination in neurology”. 2019; 14(10): e0224131. Meike Grumer. Published online 2019 Oct 18. doi: 10.1371/journal.pone.0224131 PMCID: PMC6799971PMID: 31626678
4) Berkley: University of California. Understanding Science 101. “How Science Works — Observation Beyond Our Eyes”. Accessed 24 August 2024. Link: https://undsci.berkeley.edu/understanding-science-101/how-science-works/observation-beyond-our-eyes/
5) Berkley: University of California. Understanding Science. “Glossary”. Term Data. Accessed 24 August 2024. Link: https://undsci.berkeley.edu/glossary/data/
6) Study.com. Scientific Data Analysis. Definition, Methods & Examples. Matthews Samantha. 21 November 2023. Accessed 24 August 2024. Link: https://study.com/learn/lesson/scientific-data-analysis-concept-examples.html#:~:text=In%20the%20scientific%20method%2C%20analysis,towards%20trends%20within%20the%20observations.
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Certain elements in this story may have been fictionalized to illustrate a creative story. This is a form of artistic expression not narration of fact. Not a form of investment advice. Please consult a professional registered to give you advice about your individual circumstance. This article is for educational purposes and entertainment purposes only. Please do not email the author about advice on investing or strategies on making investments.
About Christopher: Christopher Knight Lopez is a Professional Hustler turned International Best Seller and Published Author of “I Made It Then I Didn’t” and Co-Author with Kevin “The Shark” Harrington “Many Paths To Profit”. Christopher has opened over 7 businesses in his 15-year career. Christopher’s purpose is to take advantage of various market-driven opportunities. Christopher is a certified Master Project Manager (MPM), and Accredited Financial Analyst (AFA). Christopher previously held his Series 65 securities license examination and was a Master Financial Planner (MFP). Christopher also held his General Lines — Life, Accident, Health & HMO. Christopher has managed a combined 286mm USD in reported Assets Under Management & Assets Under Advisement. Christopher has work experience in 33 countries, raised over 50mm USD for various businesses, and grossed over 13.0mm in his personal career. Christopher worked in the highly technical industries of: biotechnology, finance, securities, manufacturing, real estate, and residential mortgages. Christopher is a United States Air Force Veteran. Christopher has a passion for family, competitive sports, fishing, martial arts and advocacy for entrepreneurs. Christopher provides self-help classes for up-and-coming entrepreneurs. Christopher’s passion to mentor comes from belief that entrepreneurs need guidance. The world is full of conflicting information about entrepreneur identity. See more at www.christopherklopez.com.
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