An Open Letter To Love’s Past
Updated: Apr 2
This is not heartbreak. This is not one moment. It is a story worth reading.
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Dear Past Love,
I am writing you this message because I loved you. You were a wonderful woman. You were the first woman for me to have complete harmony with. You improved my life in so many ways. Despite this I realized life put us in situations before we were ready. I know now you were not trying to force me to commit before I was ready. I did not feel manipulated by you.
Despite those facts I felt overwhelmed.
The fact you were completely dependent on me for everything overwhelmed me. Clothes, food, housing, children, healthy…every component of your life. It was too much for me.
When your family required money (not just you) it was too much. It pushed me over the edge.
During my low times I could get the little help in the ways I required. This does not mean you did not help. You could not offer the help I needed. There is no shame in that.
I analyzed our story. I realized our relationship evolved into something beyond husband and wife. None of us aimed to do that.
I didn’t know how to say no. You kept asking because I kept giving. I never said no.
I was not ready for that. To be honest, I don’t know if I ever will be.
I listened to you as you spoke. You told me several times you did not want long-distance relationships. I travel. I tend to be gone. We grew apart. I lacked relationship tools back then. I didn’t know how to repair hearts. I didn’t know how to set boundaries. I didn’t know how to communicate my feelings.
I kept them inside. Now I do not. Imagine, I am a writer? A relationship one at that. I bet you did not guess that one. My perspective is about how a man can walk away from a healthy marriage. I have good credibility on that one.
I chose to end our relationship. I know I walked away. I know it hurt you. I know our last memories up until that point were positive. You were blindsided.
To heal you must accept the fact I loved you. You must also accept the fact I love you still. My feelings were real. They are real. You were not anyone’s fool. You must recognize a person’s incapacity is not the same as a person’s indifference.
We cannot punish people who are not capable of doing the things we want. We often judge people by results and not intentions. Deep down you know I didn’t intend to do what I did. Up until the point I told you I wanted to leave our relationship I only knew 30 minutes before I told you.
I bet you thought I was thinking about it for a while. I wasn’t.
I do not do half measures anymore. If I am unsure, I understand I have uncertainty. If I do not have certainty I cannot commit.
Our relationship was an example of right place, right woman but wrong time. They say if two people really love each other they will find a way back to each other.
I love you. I really do. All the money I have given. I do not want it back. I do not regret our time together. Reality is nearly all of it was positive. I would venture to say ninety percent of our time together was wonderful. I think if you are honest with yourself, you can admit that too.
I will not allow a small percentage of bad to wipe out the good. I will not adopt a perspective where I dwell in anger or sadness. The disappointment was a small chapter in a story that was wonderful. We had a wonderful story together. The story ended. I am privileged and grateful to have read it.
You should be too. When I think of you, I smile. I do not get sad. You are some of my best memories. No small amount of bad can take that away.
I pray you understand intentions. It is not easy for me to write this letter. I wish our lives did not dictate these circumstances. I cannot help the past. You cannot help yours. Sometimes life is unfair.
I want to see you one last time to say a proper goodbye. We never were afforded that opportunity. Too much hurt from a single moment caused you to stonewall. Do you know something about moments? They pass. What does not pass? A lifetime. Don’t let your lifetime be dictated by a moment. It is unfair to you. My moment is gone. My lifetime is filled with happiness. Yours should be too. This isn’t about living in the past. This is about enjoying the present. With or without me you can enjoy your present too.
1) The life of Christopher Knight Lopez a Professional Hustler turned International Best Seller and Published Author of “I Made It Then I Didn’t”.
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About Christopher: Christopher Knight Lopez is a Professional Hustler turned International Best Seller and Published Author of “I Made It Then I Didn’t”. Christopher has opened over 7 businesses in his 15-year career. Christopher’s purpose is to take advantage of various market-driven opportunities. Christopher is a certified Master Project Manager (MPM), and Accredited Financial Analyst (AFA). Christopher previously held his Series 65 securities license examination and was a Master Financial Planner (MFP). Christopher also held his General Lines — Life, Accident, Health & HMO. Christopher has managed a combined 286mm USD in reported Assets Under Management & Assets Under Advisement. Christopher has work experience in 33 countries, raised over 50mm USD for various businesses, and grossed over 13.0mm in his personal career. Christopher worked in the highly technical industries of: biotechnology, finance, securities, manufacturing, real estate, and residential mortgages. Christopher is a United States Air Force Veteran. Christopher has a passion for family, competitive sports, fishing, martial arts and advocacy for entrepreneurs. Christopher provides self-help classes for up-and-coming entrepreneurs. Christopher’s passion to mentor comes from belief that entrepreneurs need guidance. The world is full of conflicting information about entrepreneur identity. See more atwww.christopherklopez.com.